Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Life Happens

It's certainly been a while since I've made a blog post.
Life Happened.
Children grow.
Babies are born.
The part that the priest says during your marriage vows,
"Through sickness and health" comes to pass in my marriage.
All the things that generally happen during everyone's life seem to have happened to me during the last few months.

We welcomed a beautiful new granddaughter, Abigail Louise, on January 27th.
She is a 4th generation Louise.
So dear to my heart.
Named after my mother, me, and her sweet mother Miranda.
Her big sister Anna Grace turned 3 this month.
Her picture is at the top of the page in the center.
My sweet Lily turned 6. That's her at the top of the page.
She loves life and brings me joy every single day.
Jordan turned 17 in January.
He's 6' 3" and loves football like no other.
How did that happen?
Why do they grow so fast?
It doesn't seem fair sometimes.

My sweet gift of a husband, James, is sick with cancer.
The dreaded "C" word.
The world stopped turning for me last August.
This isn't real.
This happens to other people right?
Not us.
We're too young.
It happened.
It's real.
Two surgeries in November.
Radiation started in January.
On my mother's birthday no less.
The day after his father's birthday.
At least there were angels looking after him on the day he had to lay on a cold metal table and be bolted down.
His face and neck irradiated.
Today was the last treatment.
He is burned and exhausted.
His skin will heal.
His face and neck will be fine.
He might even be able to say Dr. Pepper again.
He can blink his eye.
He can wink, wrinkle his nose, and even pucker up pretty well thanks to a blessed Dr. who took the time to regraft his facial nerve.
Life will always be different though.
We will always wonder if they got all the cancer in the facial nerve.
Will the tumor come back?
Did the cancer spread to the incision?
Will the radiation treatment that killed the cancer cause more cancer in the long run?

God, I know you gave him to me.
His is a gift for everything I ever had to deal with as a child.
It took forever to completely trust someone else...to know that he wouldn't hurt me as I was hurt before.
He has made me happier than I could ever imagine.
He gave me the most beautiful children.
A happy life and more joy than words can say.
Please watch over him and keep him healthy for another 40 years.
Thank you for all the gifts and lessons of life that we have had together.
Please watch over each of my children.
Love them as I love them.
Bless my two sweet granddaughters and their father.
Keep them all safe and healthy but show them the blessings and gifts of life.
Let them smell the sweet scent of the air after a rain, the smell of freshly cut grass and wisteria in the spring and not worry that something bad will happen to them.

I'm having a hard time seeing the screen to type through my tears.
But these are good tears.
Finally, I can cry.
I had to be strong for the last few months.
I couldn't let it out.
I had to make sure everything was taken care of, hubby, kids, the house, the bills, even the dog.
But now I get to cry.
These are good tears.
Healing tears.
And life will keep happening.
That's what it does.
And I'm so thankful it does.

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